Holding on to what you cannot change is like wrestling with your shadow. It makes for a frustrating relationship with yourself. The shadow is visible, but you will be continually frustrated and unhappy because you cannot control or change it.
In your business and personal world, you must know when you are wrestling with your shadow. Your shadow is all the things you cannot control.
Self-improvement is your own personal elevator. As you rise to the top you will have to let some people off. When you focus on self-improvement you are always in transition. As you rise, you must let go of those relationships that no longer serve you and the new person you are becoming.
If you don’t, you will end up feeling stuck which eventually robs you of energy and happiness. Look at your relationships. Ask yourself, “Who do they have me becoming?” And then ask yourself, “Is this acceptable?”
Grief is everywhere! Our experience with COVID 19 has and continues to bring us grief. In my business coaching practice and in my own life grief is at the forefront.
Grief is the loss of normal. Grief is the death of something. In the businesses I collaborate as well as many others I know all of us are dealing with grief. What was normal, the way we did things is gone.
And when there is a loss of normal it is replaced by fear. We are grieving because we are fearful about the future. In the United States we are grieving as a society because we miss each other. With COVID 19 we are hearing grief in almost all aspects of our society. Why? We are collectively dealing with the loss of the world we knew.
Over the past few weeks, the coronavirus has changed all of our lives significantly. We have never seen something like this. The medical impact can be frightening. And the economic impact, remains to be seen, but it could be disastrous.
Instead of writing about personal development, self-improvement, personal growth and leadership which are areas in which I collaborate with others in my personal business coaching practice, I believe it is best to share some thoughts that may support you as we go through a time where in many cases, and you can include me, our lives have been turned upside down. A time where fear and panic, the two horsemen of relationship and societal destruction are running wild.
In previous posts, we have looked at gratitude, happiness and serving others and how your self-talk can guide you in these areas. Also, we have looked at an essential element of your mindset for successful networking. You must focus on what you can control, which is you and your thoughts. Do not focus on what you cannot control, which is others.
Part of the control issue is that when we first network with someone there can be a tendency to have a “fixer upper attitude” or “I am here to help.” While both of these may sound good, they actually can work against you and your goal of building deeper relationships through networking.
Your self-talk, what you say when you talk to yourself, is a key to keeping your networking working. In the previous post, we looked at ways to improve your self-talk, which in turn, will enhance the possibilities of building deeper relationships through networking.
What I find interesting is what very successful people say to themselves in order to overcome significant challenges. Regardless of where their inspiration comes from which could be a situation, a person or a goal most truly successful people are happy. That doesn’t mean that they don’t get down or have doubts. All of us do. But their self-talk causes them to overcome what is challenging them and in the process of moving beyond the challenge they create happiness.
In the previous post we looked at some factors that can take your networking to not working. Lack of soft skills, people skills is the biggest challenge in today’s fast paced world. For networking to work we must be effective with others which means being truly interested in them and willing to listen.
One of the keys to success in your networking is the culture you bring into every interaction. Your culture is a reflection of how you think and care about yourself. Remember, the goal of networking is to build deeper relationships. If the culture you are bringing is toxic that will not happen.
Let’s assume that you are out and about and networking regularly. What that means is that you consistently attend the same meetings. That is good. It is not possible to build deeper relationships without being consistent in your networking.
Yet, things aren’t coming together. You are spending the time, but you are not getting to have deeper relationships. As a business coach in Houston and The Woodlands I have had clients who get frustrated. In fact, over my career I have become frustrated, too. I join a group and believe that good things are going to happen, and they don’t.