All of us use our reasoning abilities to justify what we think and what we do. We use our reasoning to solve problems and to embrace opportunities. We use our reasoning in hundreds of areas.
Yet, when we are in relationships and we give our reasons for doing something and the other party questions or disagrees with our reasoning, things can become very heated.
In my personal business coaching practice in The Woodlands and Houston, I have clients who have the best systems, the best IT, the marketing, and they are profitable. Yet, and it will never be perfect, there are a number of hierarchical and peer relationships that are disjointed. Disjointed relationships are a drain on productivity. But since things are good for the bottom line, they are glossed over. Then one day the tipping point is reached and there is an explosion. An explosion that could have been prevented. And the explosion can be bad enough to halt productivity.
What can you do about it? Once again, in the area of relationships, there are many answers. But these answers are not necessarily solutions. I am going to share with you something that I have seen work for my clients in my personal business coaching practice. Does it always work? Absolutely it does not. But at the very least it does shine some light on a pathway to a solution.
When things get heated and boil over between people our first response when confronted is the following. Very often, in defense of our reasoning, we give the other person even more logical, reasons, as to why we are right. This does only one thing. It heightens the tension and anger.
Somehow, we think if we can outreason the other person that they will admit defeat and go along with us. Most of the time it does not work that way. To restore reason, if things are about to get heated remember this: Love restores reason, not the other way around.
Show the other person love by seriously trying to understand what is at the root of their objections to your reasons. When you do this, you are showing that you value them. The initial response to love in the work environment is very often tepid at best. But for those who embrace it, I have seen it turn bad relational situations around.
Going back to the question earlier in this post. Does this always work? Of course, it does not. But, if you understand that love restores reason and not the other way around, you will have fewer bad arguments that will rob you of your energy, focus, and happiness. When you do you will increase the odds of building teams that sustain themselves because the relationships are more positive than negative.