In the previous posts we looked at several factors that can keep your networking working. In the last post we looked at the culture you bring into every encounter. A large part of your culture revolves around what do you say when you talk to yourself.
Your self-talk is critical to your success, let alone happiness. Why is this important? What you are saying to yourself on the inside will manifest itself in your words and actions on the outside. Obviously, this will be a key determinant in achieving the goal of networking, to build deeper relationships.
Over the years, since 2006 I have had the privilege of collaborating with many high- quality people. They are all successful to one degree or another. Yet, all of them feel they have hit an invisible ceiling. My role goes from business coach to personal development business coach. I am there to support them in discovering what it is or what factors are holding them back.
What holds all of us back at times, in some shape or form is our self-talk about change. To improve we must change. In working with clients primarily in Houston and The Woodlands, Texas, as well as ones out of town and out of state, I have found that our self-talk will either limit us or propel us forward.
To be successful in networking, you must have good self-talk. If your self-talk makes you see your world as turbulent, unfair or an unhappy place, just to name a few, this is what you will convey to others as you attempt to build a relationship. If this is what is coming across to others then they will not see you as a safe person to be around, and as a result your networking will not work.
Yes, your feelings are valid…. for you……yet it is dangerous to project them on others until you get to know them.
So, the first step to successful self-talk is to change your thinking. Change your thinking about yourself and your world. If your thinking never changes, you will never be open to the new and better relationships that networking can bring.
How do you go about changing your thinking about yourself which ultimately affects your self-talk? First, look at all the things you have overcome in your life. What we overcome in order to accomplish is foundational to a positive self-image. People love stories about overcoming. In the process of overcoming you will share your vulnerability. Vulnerability doesn’t make you weaker. It makes you more accessible. It makes you more real in your networking.
Finally, remember that wealth, power, notoriety or place are no measures of success whatsoever. The only true measure of success is the ratio between who you are and who you can become. Successful networking is about enlarging others by who you have become. And, letting others enlarge you by who they have become.
Let your self-talk see you as the valuable person you are. When you do, you will bring that into your networking where others will appreciate the value you bring which increases the possibility of building deeper relationships.