In the previous two posts we have looked at the fear that is based on indifference and indecision. In this post we will look at doubt. And, like the other fears, doubt has a valid time and place. Yet, if you let doubt rule you, your circle of accomplishment and your feelings of self-worth will be very small.
As a personal development business coach in The Woodlands and as a personal development business coach in Houston I have seen doubt sabotage talented people. When I had businesses of my own, some as large as eighty people, I let doubt creep in and keep me from greater accomplishment.
Doubt is highly personal. It is a fear we generate based on our view of ourselves and our world. It is one the hardest enemies to overcome because it demands that we change our perspective, our reality, on ourselves and our world.
If I were to pick one self-improvement tip for success, it would be to always have self-awareness of your doubts. Without it, you will be fighting the same battles and wondering why you are not getting better results.
Doubt, like indifference and indecision is definitely something that can protect you at times. The problem is that it can end up controlling us.
When it comes to doubt it is okay to doubt what you read. Doubt what you hear. Doubt what you see on TV. Doubt the government. And, to doubt each other. But it is not okay, most of the time, to doubt yourself. Doubt will keep you from being better, from accessing better and new opportunities. It will steal energy from your relationships.
Another code word for “doubt” very often is the word “try.” Try is a perfectly good word, yet when it is used in the context of doubt, try can mean someday, sometime or never.
Ask someone to do something and when their response is: “I will try.” How does that make you feel? You start doubting whether or not the person will have the commitment to do what you asked. And with the lack of commitment that “try” brings and the doubt it creates, it diminishes the most important aspect of relationships, trust.
To start easing doubt and its hold on you start saying instead of “try,” “I will do my best.” This brings a higher level of commitment and starts to erode doubt. And, if you want to really weaken doubt in your communication tell someone when they ask you to do something, “I will do whatever it takes.”
You have the power of life and death when it comes to accomplishments and building relationships with your tongue. What are you saying when you talk to yourself? What are you saying when you talk to others? Show commitment in your words and ultimately your actions and you take a sword to doubt.