In the previous three posts we have looked at the fear that is based on indifference, indecision and doubt. In this post we will look at worry. And, like the other fears, worry has a valid time and place. Yet, when you are consumed with worry it robs you of the energy and focus to accomplish what you have set out to do…
As a business coach in The Woodlands and as a business coach in Houston I have seen worry take people off course and actually make things worse than the worry itself. In my businesses, when I started to hire people and had to make a payroll, I definitely had a great deal of worry. After all, cash flow in the beginning my businesses was not predictable. And sometimes it meant paying everyone except myself. In turn, that created another set of worries.
Worry, like doubt is highly personal. In some ways it is easier to manage. Where doubt is about how we feel about ourselves at the core, worry, very often, comes from external circumstances, people and things. The point is that the fear of worry is easier to see. Doubt has a more internal aspect. And worry and doubt are like cousins. They are related yet they are different.
Worry’s main attribute is that it takes us off course and ends up wasting our time on things, which very often, we have no control over. To have more peace of mind about worry I have seen in my own life and that of others what we must do.
If I were to give a self-improvement tip for peace of mind it is important to remember that 90% of our worries never come to pass. What makes worry so insidious is that it is like cancer cells that can spread into everything that you do.
With worry, the first step is to realistically look at what is worrying you and ask yourself this question, “Do I have control over this?” Most of the time you do not. If you don’t have control that doesn’t necessarily make it any better, but at least you can now focus on your worries where you do have control.
For example, if you are on a busy street and decide to step out into traffic, it is time to worry. If you are in a bad area of town at 2 in the morning, it is time to worry. But, in each of these instances, unless there are some unusual circumstances, you do have control. You can decide not to step out into the busy street or to not be in a bad part of town at 2 in the morning.
How do you possibly lessen worry? Focus on what you want, not what you don’t want. And when you take the action to focus on what you want, such as not stepping out into a busy street or not being in a bad part of town at 2 in the morning you are now putting your focus on positive action.
Worry can be like a mad dog that drives you into a corner. If you have a positive vision of the future and are taking the actions to combat worry you can become the mad dog that drives worry into a corner.
Like indifference, indecision and doubt, worry is definitely something that can protect you at times. The problem is that it can end up controlling you.
You can control it to a large extent by making better decisions. This is critical. When you make bad decisions repeatedly you attract people who also make bad decisions. This is a big worry. Why? The influence of your associations, good or bad, will take you in one of those two directions. Also, with a lot of worry, it is just about impossible to have good relationships. Your worry becomes an energy sucker and will drive good people away…
Ultimately, worry is praying for what you don’t want. What you have to do is focus on what you want and what you have to be grateful for, the good things in your life. Gratitude is now used in military training to make the troops more resilient in face of the difficulties and worries of combat. They are reminded of the good and this drives them to move forward and focus less on worry.
Worry is very often a choice. Choose to make good decisions and to act for improvement and you will have less to worry about. You will be lighter to lift and your relationships will improve.
Worry and the amount of focus you put on it, is a decision. You have control over what you think and how you choose to react. Keep the positive picture of the future and the outcome you desire in your mind. Make that your choice and it will lead you away from a life dominated by worry and to the better future you desire.
As with the other enemies from within, you can’t eliminate it, but you can do things to lessen its impact on the road to your success.